And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
