My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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