I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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