Sry I called you an 8
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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