some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
