very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
