He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
