she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize