it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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