of course. lets lasso hookers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
