i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize