one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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