Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
