it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
