His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize