so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
