I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
