that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
