Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
