a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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