I'm going to jail i love you
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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