So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
