This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
