Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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