what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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