Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
