lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize