i think my mom watched the whole time
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
