i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
