I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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