so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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