Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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