i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
