I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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