We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
