u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize