____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
