Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize