I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
false alarm, still single
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
