I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
drinking out of a sandbucket again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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