he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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