Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
