I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
