What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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