He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
