we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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