it wasn't lemon gatorade
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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