i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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