Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
where does the pee come out of this thing
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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