He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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