we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
