i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
