And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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