Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
