I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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