that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
