That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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