It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
