He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
