i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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