Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize