Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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