I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
