Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
