I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
