if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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