If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You can't just leave with hair like that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
