im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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