I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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